Random Musings - 3 geeks on life, the universe and everything.

Thanksgiving and the Attack of the Ex-Girlfriend

Written on November 28, 2008 at 10:52 pm about General, Life by Tom
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I left UMass Dartmouth on Tuesday night expecting a relaxing vacation with the family, interspersed by working on my latest novel and hanging out with my mates from high school. Alas, it was not so simple. While I was in the process of putting up one of the Christmas trees in my house with my mother and sister, the doorbell rings. Who is it at the door but my ex girlfriend, two years later. This was possibly the most WTF moment I can remember.

Apparently, she wants to be friends again. Or something. She gave me a note, since I wasn’t about to let her into my house out of the blue, and it does appear sincere enough. Haven’t come to a decision yet, as I’m still a tad shell-shocked, I suppose. Have to wonder what spurred the whole thing, though. The note amounts to a lengthy apology, and a bit of an update as to what she’s been up to. In any case, I can’t come to a decision just yet as to what I’m going to do. Advice from close friends is mixed.

On the plus side of things, I have a new phone. It’s orange, and the blurb claims it’s ‘built to military specifications.’ I’ve been redoing the contacts list, so I’m missing a lot of numbers — pass yours along if I don’t have it, or you just want random calls at 3AM.

That’s all for now; time to work on the webcomic before I forget I ever had such a thing.

Like a phoenix, I rise again. And again. And again. And a … holy crap, I’m on FIRE!!! AHHHHHH!

Written on September 7, 2008 at 9:07 pm about General, Life, Musing, Pen and Paper Role Playing by Chris
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Well, after Tom’s cheerful rant below, I figured it was time to share an update of my own.

Well, it’s notable that the Salford WARPS should be reasonably secure for this year. Hopefully the student union takes it’s thumb out of it’s ass and actually gets some advertising up. After a while of negociation and checking, it appears we require 15 student members to be ratified as an official society. Since we have 10 with just the guaranteed re-sign ups from last year, that’s not too difficult an issue, since the union appears to have woken up to the idea that they need to actually make sure the societies have ROOM to work in.

In addition, Phoenix, my DnD4th ed modification, continues at a steady pace. It’ll be ready for testing come the new university year, anyway. Barring any exceptional circumstances, I should be ready to work on a 2nd stage book set (The Titans Manual, Campaign Guide and Academy Training book) after this first test (Which is the UNMC player’s handbook, the vehicle manual (New and unique), the field inteligence guide (Monster Manual equivalent) and the GM’s manual). I’m also working on several stories in the setting, which should be interesting.  At the time of writing, I also have an initial scenario written up to 4th level, and plans for beyond that point in note form.

Unlike DnD, Phoenix is intended for an episodic campaign, dropping in at the key points in the character’s lifetime, as opposed to a continual campaign. This means GMs can limit what equipment the players get, as well as ensure that even if the campaign is going to cover several years, players don’t spend lots of time sat around twiddling their thumbs.

Anyway, in other areas, I’m generally doing ok. Probably re-sitting the year at university, but that’s not really a big supprise, and to be frank, I’d actually prefer it in some ways. Obviously not the cost, but most ways, I’m fine with it.

Oh, and in a final bit of news, Manchester has officially recieved 1 year’s worth of rain in a month, as of now.

Five Reasons Artemis Fowl Kicks Edward Cullen’s Ass

Written on July 27, 2008 at 5:40 pm about Books, General by Tom
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I’m going to start this list with a disclaimer : I’m only about a third of the way through Twilight. (UPDATE: I’ve finished, and yes, it was terrible.) And oh God is it slow going. It’s become the reading version of push-ups : you’re doing it to prove a point even though at this point it’s becoming unbearable.

But I feel such a list is necessary, since about 97% of the female population think this Cullen chap is just the best thing since sliced bread and twice as sexy. (The other 3% either have better taste in literature or are functionally illiterate.) So without further ado, and in no particular order, here’s the top 5 reasons Artemis Fowl would wipe the floor with Edward Cullen.

1. Money

Everyone knows that money is a powerful aphrodaisic. Well, Artemis is rolling in it. The family fortune is in the billionaire leagues, and includes a Learjet, a mansion in Ireland, and all sorts of neat gadgets. Think the iPhone on steroids. Then there’s the fact that Artemis has a manservant who doubles as a bodyguard and chauffeur. Edward drives a freaking Volvo. Sure, maybe it’s better in crashes, but in terms of raw awesome factor (measured in the SI unit of freaking sweet per square meter), Artemis’s Bentley wins hands down. It’s hardly even a competition here.

2. Brains

Artemis is a certified genius. He’s recieved multiple university degrees already; from what I’ve read up to in Twilight, Edward is comfortable with attending Washington State U. Artemis captured a magical fairy at only 12 years old. Edward can’t even keep his vampire powers secret from a ditzy girl. Einstein himself would probably be astounded by the sheer immensity of Artemis’s cerebral powerhouse. And think about this, ladies — with that much brainpower, you’d never have to worry about a forgotten birthday or anniversary ever again. He’d know the perfect gift to get you for any occasion (and with the aforementioned money, it would be sure to impress). Let’s face it, it doesn’t get much better than that.

And for those of you who think that Edward would just beat the everlovin’ snot out of Artemis, the way the football jocks pounded chess club kids in high school…

3. Toughness

I can practically predict the responses to this. “Edward fights bears and mountain lions with his bare hands!” Yeah? Big friggin’ whoop. He’s got superhuman strength. That’s like being impressed with a major-league baseball player beating a Little League team. And if you just thought to yourself that you’d like to see that, you’re a dick who enjoys ruining small children’s dreams. Yes, you.

Now let’s consider. Artemis might not be physically tough. But he’s gone toe-to-toe with some of the toughest villians imaginable and come out on top. Trolls, mafia thugs, and superpowerful magical beings. For crying out loud, the kid shot his own father in order to save his life. That’s more like one kid from Little League beating the Red Sox and the Yankees. Much more impressive, and a hell of a lot more entertaining to see.

4. Sexiness

Apparently Edward Cullen is oh-so-sexy because he’s a vampire. In the promo shots I’ve seen for the movie, he looks like a sun-deprived man-child who listens to Fall Out Boy and steals his older sister’s makeup. If you think that’s sexy…well, you’re probably an emo girl who’s mad that I just insulted Fall Out Boy, and I have no friggin’ idea why you’re reading my blog. Go away.

Now, Artemis, though….firstly, there’s the fact that he’s a sharp dresser. Always decked out to the nines in designer suits. Half of the girls out there can’t even get their boyfriends to shave regularly or put on a shirt with buttons. Then of course there’s the accent. You cannot tell me that you don’t melt inside when you hear an Irish accent. Why do you think people like Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan consistently are voted Sexiest Man Alive Ever for Eternity? (And yes, I recognize that there are differences not only between the different parts of the UK, but even within individual countries…but you still can’t deny that they’re all sexy.)

Then you have to remember that while Edward looks 17, he’s really a centuries old undead man. You know how creeped out you get when an old guy leers at you in line at the supermarket? Multiply that by about ten billion and you’ll be getting close to how disgusting this is. It’s like making out with the Mummy. Look what happened to the chick from that movie — eaten alive by bugs.

Always remember, ladies, making out with ancient evil beings equates to a horrible, horrible death. Always.

5. Availability

Let’s consider what we know about good looking guys, from our observations of the world.

A. They’re consistently being chased by several girls at once.

B. They’re consistently chasing several girls at once.

I call this the Pimpp-Mannwhor Hypothesis. Its corrollary, the Doosh-Bagg Theorem, is left as an exercise to the reader.

Think about it, ladies. Why compete with a bunch of other girls for a man who will never lack for female attention? What happens when someone new comes along? Instead, doesn’t it make much more sense to go for the slightly less Adonis-like, yet still not bad on the eyes man? Of course, if you’re superficial enough that a man’s looks are a primary concern for you, this high-level logic is above you anyways.

Well, there you have it. Five perfectly valid reasons that Artemis Fowl would totally trash Edward Cullen any day of the week. Now I’m going to wait for the hate mail from all the fangirls from the English-speaking portions of the world. If you enjoyed this post, good. Read more of this blog, and wait for more updates. If you didn’t enjoy it, then it’s probably because you’re one of those fangirls. Now leave me alone, I have to continue working on shamelessly ripping off Yahtzee.

Long time, no spawling ramble of doom

Written on July 8, 2008 at 2:51 pm about Films, General, Life, Pen and Paper Role Playing, Tabletop Wargames, Video Gaming by Chris
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So, I guess we really need to learn to update this more often, huh?

Anyway, it’s time for another installment of happy ramble funtime and stuff. Only, you know, the first 4 words of that statement are false. So just stuff.

So first off.

“In a mad world, only the mad are sane”

Elements of my life seem to have converged to be confusing, aggravating and stressful. I’ve had ups, downs, side to sides and all sorts of other directions. Kind of like a yoyo wielded by a maddened bear. But it looks like someone disarmed Bobo. I just hope that someone isn’t a bearlock…

But yes, life has once again calmed down. Admittedly, I’ve been stuck at home for nearing 2 weeks now, thanks to a pickpocket and the staff at GMPTE, who seem not to know the meaning of the word ’speed’. This may have contributed, since other than when I can actually afford to, I have avoided going out.

I’ve started writing a supplement for 4th edition Dungeons And Dragons. Label me a geek, but frankly, that’s a label I’ll wear with pride. Either way, it’s something to do. And frankly, designing a world is fun.

Ok, I think I’m gonna move on to other gaming areas.

Video game wise, I’ve finally reached rank 55 on COD4. At least on my primary account. Keep your eyes open for “BlackLiger” or “Warlord”, since those are what I tend to use. I’m trying to gain the other achievements, not that it’s easy.

Some of these achievements, however, look impossible unless you’re really lucky. I mean, I only got “On the edge” by throwing a grenade INTO a building while the enemy shot me through the wall (get 3 or more kills while near death).

Tabletop game wise, I’ve gotten into playing Horrorclix. It’s a nice little game system, with some inventive ideas. And it’s fun, and funny. I’ve got an actual hero team together, finally, with a squad of ’special forces’ and their commander, Major Harper. These guys aren’t brilliant, but they are powerful if used right. And they are funny, because like all steriotyped horror movie ‘heros’, the bigger the gun, the less damage they do, except in rare circumstances (Named heros, for example).

And movies. Movies I can rant about. For starters, KUNG FU PANDA IS A BUCKET OF AWESOME WITH EXTRA AWESOME! Seriously, I’m a fan of Jack Black films anyway, but Kung Fu Panda is EXCELLENT. It’s certainly in the list of films I’ve got to acquire at some point.

“There is no secret ingredient”

Next, well, The Inedible Mulch…. Uh.. I mean Incredible Hulk. DAMN this is actually an awesome movie. People who downbeat it seem to have gone in expecting far more than the Hulk ever COULD give. He’s the HULK, people, not Dr Strange. His ’shtick’ is to find a monster and hammer it into the floor repeatedly. You want to watch a thinky movie, try something other that a ‘comic book action hero’ movie.

And in the same vein, Iron Man wasn’t too bad. I want a computer like that, if nothing else, for lazyness purposes. And to build me a multi billion dollar super suit which can beat up tanks with little effort, obviously…

And of course, finally:

Welcome James to our little blog here. He’s our newest writer, and about as sane as 2 wet cats stuck in a sack. And that’s before we go into the releasing pheromones that make them more aggressive.

Applications to join our blogging bunch can be submitted to “Info@Spartalive.net” once you’ve registered on this blog itself.

Going just a little more insane every day.

Written on July 8, 2008 at 3:27 am about General, Life by Tom
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So Lady Irony has decided to offer another kick to the balls again. As much as I wanted summer to arrive at the end of semester, I find myself wondering if I might be happier back at school. Why the hell would I want that? A few reasons.

Firstly, work is tiring me out and taking up all my time. I’m working 90% of the week to put gas in my car…so that I can go to work to put gas in my car…well, you get the idea. And on most of my days off everyone else is working, so more often than not I end up sitting around the house.

Oh, the house. How I tire of it. This house is what’s making me crazy, I think — the fact that I’m always here. Sitting at this damn computer, too, just like I am now. I’d much prefer to be out with friends, but it doesn’t happen nearly as much as I’d like. And, if I may indulge in a bit of self-pity, it’s not as if my inbox is overflowing with invitations to places. Again, it’s irony, or karma, or some such thing. Now that I’ve got the means to actually go places and hang out with people, it just doesn’t happen.

This isn’t precisely new, though. I’ve been sitting on this rant for a few months now. But I kept telling myself that I’m not the whiny type. Well, at this point in time some old-fashioned catharsis is what I need right now. Even though it won’t amount to much more than shouting into the void, since the people with the power to make me feel better likely will never see this.

I guess that’s what it comes down to. I want some reassuranace. I want someone to say “Yes, we want to hang out with you, Tom. You’re an important part of the fun. We love you.” Again, whiny — I know I’ve got good friends. But the self-doubt likes to creep in at these wee hours of the evening. And so I ponder to myself, and make self-deprecating comments.

Ah well. I don’t have it nearly as bad off as others, and yet that makes me feel worse, not better, that I’m acting this whiny and emotional. What the hell is wrong with me?

The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Measely Life

Written on July 3, 2008 at 1:28 pm about Films, General, Video Gaming by Paradox
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So here it is my debut post.

Where to begin, Well for starters if you are reading this you must be bored, and I mean bored on a dire scale. You can feel it pouring in through the pours, sweat glands and orifices as you read this dribble of utter pointlessness. It would take someone on the brink of an expansive pit of nothingness to even try and lift their head out of a drowning torrent of suffering brought about by the mounting and prolonged idleness and depravity you all harbour.

If you’re still with me congratulations, you get a cookie.

Now on to more important issues. Yes question that has plagued man for years.

How long will valve delay their next game?

It is inevitable that they will delay it; it is an un-shakeable law of the universe. In the event that one of their games is released when they say it will be the universe will inevitably collapse in upon itself, and it’s all valves fault. However the game itself does look promising and that’s a good sign.

Ok films

In recent years my faith in the film industry has slowly degraded and in many ways watching Indiana Jones 4 drove the final stake through the black charred heap that is my cynical heart. However hope is yet kindled by the upcoming event that is the new batman film. The last one being rather good and this one promising to be even better. The joker is obviously the most evil character ever to exist as its portrayer promptly removed himself from any legal bonds to play him ever again.

Well that about covers it for now I’ll be writing more specific postings later.

New games, new classes, same old shit.

Written on March 21, 2008 at 3:06 am about General, Video Gaming by Tom
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It’s been a while since my last post, so I figured I’d do a new one. To tell the truth, we really need to publicize this blog so more people actually read it. That’d be neat.

Some new games have come out and subsequently been purchased by me. First mention goes to AudioSurf. I was lucky enough to get in on the public beta of this game, ensuring that when it debuted on Steam I would snatch it up instantly. The basic concept is simple — match up different colored blocks, a la Tetris, to rack up huge scores online. The difference is the tracks are generated by music files you play, and the actual speed, intensity, et cetera is dictated by the song itself. I’d love to understand how they do such sophisticated beat matching and the like. It’s damn impressive, and addicting as hell. It’s on Steam for 10 USD, so check it out.

Another kickass game is Sins of a Solar Empire. Not much of a single player game (there’s next to no story, and no campaign mode, just maps you populate with AI), its true value lies in the fun-as-hell multiplayer battles. When you get upwards of six to eight human players, populating planets, building fleets, forming and breaking alliances, it gets quite enjoyable.

As for everything non-videogame-related…in a Java class this semester. So far, I am in the minority of people who have a clue. It’s a bit sad. Work sucks still, but hey, it’s a living. Digital Overload was fucking amazing, as I expected, and I met a great group of people there. We have made plans to reunite at ConnetiCon (minus our English friend Nick).

On the other hand (and this isn’t aimed at any one person, so don’t get angry at me) it seems I have a huge sign on my back stating “Please come to me with your problems.” Usually this is no trouble because you all have the good sense to form an orderly line and do it one at a time. This time, not so much. I feel a bit overwhelmed to be honest. So that’s why I seem more stressed than usual, if anyone noticed.

But summer will soon be here, thank god, and with it relaxation, parties and all that. Huzzah~!

Up and running.

Written on January 8, 2008 at 9:23 pm about Computers, General by Tom
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Well, it’s a new year and things are already moving at a steady clip. Chris and I recently got our newest forum up and running on the spartalive domain. Check it out at http://magus.spartalive.net It’s centered around science fiction and fantasy discussion, so if that’s what interests you, you ought to like it.

As the year closes…

Written on December 5, 2007 at 5:33 pm about General by Tom
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Well, we’ve already torn through November, and December is flying by just as quickly. 2007 is nearly at an end, and as the sun sets on another 365 days of the random insanity which comprises my life, I have a few reflections:

1. Sleep is overrated. I say this because somehow I’ve been managing since September on a rough average of six or so hours a night. Never would have thought I could do it before, and that’s not to say I particularly enjoy it, but it is possible. Somehow less sleep has not translated into declining health — at least, not yet. Give it another month or so. Conversely, though, you would think I’d be more productive instead of less. Unfortunately, I’ve just increased my workload while my free time has remained constant. If I weren’t so damn busy, I’d find a differential equation to describe it.

2. I don’t need a TV. Right now the only function my television is serving is to take up space on my bookshelf. I don’t have the time to watch shows when they air, meaning I’m forced to stream them online over a crummy connection if they’re even available at all. With TV-Links gone, seemingly for good, there’s not much for me to even watch at present. Therefore, that TV is merely so much useless circuitry.

3. Having money kicks ass. With my first steady job in years, I can finally indulge in some impulse purchases. So far it’s been large quantities of soda and PC games. (On a semi-related note, Half Life 2 has stolen my soul.) I’m no longer permanently hungry either.

4. Returning home for the weekends is pretty awesome. Apparently my parents waited until I left to buy every cool thing they could get their hands on. Thus, when I return home there is a Wii with Guitar Hero, as well as two kickass leather recliners, which were not present before, in addition to the ordinary kickass stuff such as ping-pong tables and foosball.

Those are four of my top thoughts as the year closes. I’m sure I’ll have more later, but I think that ought to suffice for now. Leave comments if you’ve got ‘em.

Stardust, International Markets and rainstorms.

Written on December 1, 2007 at 10:12 pm about Films, Food, General by Chris
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Well, I went to see Stardust today with my sister and my freind Danny.

An awesome film, and one of the few unique stories I’ve seen on the big screen in a long time. The concept of a wall, seperating worlds, is not new, but since Neil Gaiman is probably the main proponent of this idea, with Terry Pratchett being a close second, and the film being based on a Gaiman graphic novel, I think that can be forgiven.

Anyway, on to the international market here in Manchester. Every year, this comes around, and this year is no exception. It’s awful crowded during the weekends, but the food is good, especially the real vanilla fudge. Those of you seeking to bribe me in any way shape or form can’t go wrong with 200g of fudge, especially chocolate fudge.

Also, the German section of the market does real bratwurst. These things are awesome, with sempfh mustard. Really tasty.

And rainstorms. I hate rainstorms. The rain itself is ok, if agrivating. It’s the crowds that annoy me. You always get the fuckwits under their brollies who block up a section of the pavement to chat, and then the moron pushing their way through. I have a twisted ankle thanks to that, from yesterday. And none of the bastards around me helped me up either. Oh well. In any case, I do wish rainstorms wouldn’t occur. Rain is ok, but sudden occurences of 30 gallons of water hitting me from above aren’t.