Random Musings - 3 geeks on life, the universe and everything.

Long time, no spawling ramble of doom

Written on July 8, 2008 at 2:51 pm about Films, General, Life, Pen and Paper Role Playing, Tabletop Wargames, Video Gaming by Chris
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So, I guess we really need to learn to update this more often, huh?

Anyway, it’s time for another installment of happy ramble funtime and stuff. Only, you know, the first 4 words of that statement are false. So just stuff.

So first off.

“In a mad world, only the mad are sane”

Elements of my life seem to have converged to be confusing, aggravating and stressful. I’ve had ups, downs, side to sides and all sorts of other directions. Kind of like a yoyo wielded by a maddened bear. But it looks like someone disarmed Bobo. I just hope that someone isn’t a bearlock…

But yes, life has once again calmed down. Admittedly, I’ve been stuck at home for nearing 2 weeks now, thanks to a pickpocket and the staff at GMPTE, who seem not to know the meaning of the word ’speed’. This may have contributed, since other than when I can actually afford to, I have avoided going out.

I’ve started writing a supplement for 4th edition Dungeons And Dragons. Label me a geek, but frankly, that’s a label I’ll wear with pride. Either way, it’s something to do. And frankly, designing a world is fun.

Ok, I think I’m gonna move on to other gaming areas.

Video game wise, I’ve finally reached rank 55 on COD4. At least on my primary account. Keep your eyes open for “BlackLiger” or “Warlord”, since those are what I tend to use. I’m trying to gain the other achievements, not that it’s easy.

Some of these achievements, however, look impossible unless you’re really lucky. I mean, I only got “On the edge” by throwing a grenade INTO a building while the enemy shot me through the wall (get 3 or more kills while near death).

Tabletop game wise, I’ve gotten into playing Horrorclix. It’s a nice little game system, with some inventive ideas. And it’s fun, and funny. I’ve got an actual hero team together, finally, with a squad of ’special forces’ and their commander, Major Harper. These guys aren’t brilliant, but they are powerful if used right. And they are funny, because like all steriotyped horror movie ‘heros’, the bigger the gun, the less damage they do, except in rare circumstances (Named heros, for example).

And movies. Movies I can rant about. For starters, KUNG FU PANDA IS A BUCKET OF AWESOME WITH EXTRA AWESOME! Seriously, I’m a fan of Jack Black films anyway, but Kung Fu Panda is EXCELLENT. It’s certainly in the list of films I’ve got to acquire at some point.

“There is no secret ingredient”

Next, well, The Inedible Mulch…. Uh.. I mean Incredible Hulk. DAMN this is actually an awesome movie. People who downbeat it seem to have gone in expecting far more than the Hulk ever COULD give. He’s the HULK, people, not Dr Strange. His ’shtick’ is to find a monster and hammer it into the floor repeatedly. You want to watch a thinky movie, try something other that a ‘comic book action hero’ movie.

And in the same vein, Iron Man wasn’t too bad. I want a computer like that, if nothing else, for lazyness purposes. And to build me a multi billion dollar super suit which can beat up tanks with little effort, obviously…

And of course, finally:

Welcome James to our little blog here. He’s our newest writer, and about as sane as 2 wet cats stuck in a sack. And that’s before we go into the releasing pheromones that make them more aggressive.

Applications to join our blogging bunch can be submitted to “Info@Spartalive.net” once you’ve registered on this blog itself.

The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Measely Life

Written on July 3, 2008 at 1:28 pm about Films, General, Video Gaming by Paradox
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So here it is my debut post.

Where to begin, Well for starters if you are reading this you must be bored, and I mean bored on a dire scale. You can feel it pouring in through the pours, sweat glands and orifices as you read this dribble of utter pointlessness. It would take someone on the brink of an expansive pit of nothingness to even try and lift their head out of a drowning torrent of suffering brought about by the mounting and prolonged idleness and depravity you all harbour.

If you’re still with me congratulations, you get a cookie.

Now on to more important issues. Yes question that has plagued man for years.

How long will valve delay their next game?

It is inevitable that they will delay it; it is an un-shakeable law of the universe. In the event that one of their games is released when they say it will be the universe will inevitably collapse in upon itself, and it’s all valves fault. However the game itself does look promising and that’s a good sign.

Ok films

In recent years my faith in the film industry has slowly degraded and in many ways watching Indiana Jones 4 drove the final stake through the black charred heap that is my cynical heart. However hope is yet kindled by the upcoming event that is the new batman film. The last one being rather good and this one promising to be even better. The joker is obviously the most evil character ever to exist as its portrayer promptly removed himself from any legal bonds to play him ever again.

Well that about covers it for now I’ll be writing more specific postings later.

New games, new classes, same old shit.

Written on March 21, 2008 at 3:06 am about General, Video Gaming by Tom
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It’s been a while since my last post, so I figured I’d do a new one. To tell the truth, we really need to publicize this blog so more people actually read it. That’d be neat.

Some new games have come out and subsequently been purchased by me. First mention goes to AudioSurf. I was lucky enough to get in on the public beta of this game, ensuring that when it debuted on Steam I would snatch it up instantly. The basic concept is simple — match up different colored blocks, a la Tetris, to rack up huge scores online. The difference is the tracks are generated by music files you play, and the actual speed, intensity, et cetera is dictated by the song itself. I’d love to understand how they do such sophisticated beat matching and the like. It’s damn impressive, and addicting as hell. It’s on Steam for 10 USD, so check it out.

Another kickass game is Sins of a Solar Empire. Not much of a single player game (there’s next to no story, and no campaign mode, just maps you populate with AI), its true value lies in the fun-as-hell multiplayer battles. When you get upwards of six to eight human players, populating planets, building fleets, forming and breaking alliances, it gets quite enjoyable.

As for everything non-videogame-related…in a Java class this semester. So far, I am in the minority of people who have a clue. It’s a bit sad. Work sucks still, but hey, it’s a living. Digital Overload was fucking amazing, as I expected, and I met a great group of people there. We have made plans to reunite at ConnetiCon (minus our English friend Nick).

On the other hand (and this isn’t aimed at any one person, so don’t get angry at me) it seems I have a huge sign on my back stating “Please come to me with your problems.” Usually this is no trouble because you all have the good sense to form an orderly line and do it one at a time. This time, not so much. I feel a bit overwhelmed to be honest. So that’s why I seem more stressed than usual, if anyone noticed.

But summer will soon be here, thank god, and with it relaxation, parties and all that. Huzzah~!

Empires

Written on December 11, 2007 at 5:41 am about Video Gaming by Chris
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“Watch the left. No, the left. LEFT YOU DUMB FUCKER!”

Not an uncommon turn of phrase in Empires, I’ll admit.

So, Empires is a Half Life 2/Source mod. 1 player per team takes command, and has an RTS like control where they build up a base for their team, while the other players are essentially their ‘units’. Given that these units are human, they don’t always obey orders, and don’t always need them. After a couple of rounds, it’s common to see teams which need no orders issued, and so work cohesively as a force.

Also, the Northern Front tanks are just funny. Kinda like Ork vehicles in Warhammer 40k.

So, it’s multiplayer only, but that’s no big deal. With a good team, it’s an epic game to play. With a bad team, it’s the source of much rage and anger. But really. It’s epic when you can load up a heavy tank with just missiles, no machineguns, no cannons, and make it into a rolling RPG battery. And it’s great for just pelting the enemy base with missiles. Stick an engineer’s ammo crate behind your tank and you have a plentyful ammo supply. Done right, you harrass the enemy base till they send tanks out after you, at which point, freindly forces can smash in and wreck as much as possible.

Or the slow moving siege. Build walls, stick turrets behind em, and use artillery to shell your way in, while heavies attempt to smash through the enemy defences.

The map EMP_MONEY is best for that tactic, though.

In any case, you should try Empires if you get a chance. It’s a nice mod, and well thought through. Even if the learning curve is a little steep.

Fuck you, gnome.

Written on December 11, 2007 at 5:12 am about Video Gaming by Tom
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So, roughly a month after reading about the gnome achievement on Half-Life 2: Episode Two, I’ve completed it for myself. Let me reiterate for you: everything you’ve heard about its difficulty is true. Perhaps even understated, come to think of it.

The gnome isn’t exactly in plain view, either; it’s stashed under a low shelf at the very beginning of the game, hidden behind some bottles. Once you find it, you can either pick it up with the Gravity gun, causing you to have that as your weapon of choice if you’re ambushed by an enemy, or with your hands, which at least leaves you with the last weapon ready to go. The bastard is, of course, like any other object in that you can’t sprint while holding it, and it’s prone to being sent flying by enemy gunfire or meelee attacks.

My odyssey began in the mines at the beginning of the game, which were nothing too challenging. The worst part wasn’t so much fighting enemies whilst holding it, it was finding the damn thing in the dimly lit cave, possibly underwater, after the carnage in each room was done. Finally I made it to Griggs and Sheckley, those bantering buffoons. I entrusted the little guy to their care whilst I blew up antlions with hopper mines and turrets. The dude managed to get a bullet hole between the eyes, but it later disappeared. That guy was indestructible, by the way.

Knowing I’d be back here, I left the little fucker next to Alyx. There was no way in hell I was taking him with me while running from the guardian antlion, especially since it would kill my sprint ability — basically the only reason I survived that portion. I got the damn larvae extract, and our happy trio — sorry, quartet — proceeded to the surface. I decided that Mr. Gnome could damn well wait for me to kill the guardians in a safe, lonely, antlion free area. After blowing up the bugs, I grabbed him and activated the lift. Got to the top, and as I turned to enter the next area…

…dropped him off the motherfucking cliff.

You can understand why this post is so profane. I had to jump down the cliff, losing a significant portion of my health (and having the HEV suit blandly inform me that I had a major fracture) to land beside Monsieur Fuckface. Then we rode the lift again. I very carefully carried the bastard to the next section, like a mother cradling her baby. Except mothers usually don’t have babies that ugly, nor do they throw them at mutant headcrabs.

After this, I had to retrieve the car, a souped-up Charger. Having read the informative blog post of one M. Pentadact, I knew the door to this room would only open for a short while, but that it was possible to suck the gnome to me with the Gravity Gun. Mr. Gnome was carefully leaned against the door, so that once I had fought my way through zombies and headcrabs, he would tall over when the door opened, jamming it open, and allowing me to grab him at my leisure. This worked better in theory than practice; Alyx and the Vort knocked him over a few times, causing me to reload from thirty seconds earlier.

This was all cake (delicious and moist cake, BTW) compared to the next challenge, though: driving. Apparently gnomes are able to kill a Combine at twenty paces, yet weigh slightly less than your average packing peanut. He flew out of the car if I even thought about turning. So here I am, sedately walking, throwing the gnome with my gravity gun ahead of me, driving to him, rinsing and repeating.

At about this point, I recalled how everyone had described the chopper scene. I cried a little inside.

Sure enough, Alyx and Gordon kick some Advisor ass, and then the chopper shows up to bum rape me. I actually ended up doing this section not once but twice. Why? Because after it, when I set out to destroy the junkyard autogun, I left the gnome on a perfectly serviceable table in the garage. Upon returning, the table had disappeared. With my fucking gnome. My last save was at the Advisor. Fuck almighty.

So, I did it again, using the tactic of simply driving like hell to get to the train tunnels, loading into the second sequence, then reversing course. Returning to the first sequence caused the chopper to obligingly wait at the opposite end of the tunnel while I drove back and grabbed the pansy gnome and brought him along without getting killed by gunfire.

Next, I discovered that this would not work in the second part. Once the car dies, you can’t get very far from it and Alyx without autofailing. So I had to go back to my gnome tag-team approach — fire gnome wildly ahead, run to car, drive like a Rhode Islander in Providence at 4:30PM on a Friday, and repeat. While getting shot. Not to mention that occasionally, when I would pick up the gnome, the chopper would shoot it out of my hands, spinning it away. I could imagine a malicious, GLaDOS type voice mocking me. The Overwatch probably taped it to show Combine soldiers on their three day passes. I would be making the rounds of Funniest Home Videos for years on the extragalactic circuit.

Defeating the chopper itself (the first time, before losing the gnome) was actually easier. I unlocked the “Putting on a Clinic” Achievement, which was a great ego boost and relief from all the other setbacks. The second time, I was more fatigued. I missed easy shots, and had to reload a few times. Finally it was done. This time, the gnome waited upstairs near the trap door, where there were no scenery changes.

Back in the car again. Oh joy. This was easier though, with no pursuit. I got to replay the quite fun inn ambush, which was made easier by simply using one RPG on a cluster of Hunters, then finishing them off with some close range 12-gauge action. Finally, I was at White Fucking Forest. I didn’t even bother trying to beat Dog. There was no fucking way. I can’t even pull that off without the gnome; I’m a shitty driver to begin with. But hey, the gnome made it!

As soon as I got to the silo, I rushed past Dr. Kleiner (being extremely careful not to drop the gnome down the silo, mind you) and shoved the fatass into the rocket. I then slammed the door on him and Lamarr, and proceeded to cackle manaically.

With that insanity over, now all I must do is defeat the strider sequence. Perhaps I’ll even get the Neighborhood Watch achievement now. After all, it’s got to be easier than the goddamn gnome.