Random Musings - 3 geeks on life, the universe and everything.

Star Trek-in across the universe… (Spoilers)

Written on June 2, 2009 at 9:01 pm about Films by Chris
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Okay, so I’ve seen Star Trek now. 4 times, in fact. And my opinion?

It’s one of the best films I’ve ever seen, never mind ‘of the year’. It captures the essence of what the original ‘trek’ was about, without caricaturing it.

But that’s not what I want to talk about in this post. I want to look at the ‘in universe’ ramifications of this film’s plot.

So, let’s go from point 1:

First of all, all the time travel that’s already occurred in the past, prior to the destruction of the Kelvin? Because it’s before the branch point, it still occurs. The Enterprise E still helps with the first Human warp flight. Voyager still goes back and alters the 20th century’s computer age. And so on and so forth.

Secondly, after the Kelvin was destroyed, Starfleet obviously ordered a much more powerful technological advancement rate than occurred in the original series. Evidence for this can be taken from the fact the Enterprise in this time-line uses a variant on the pulse phasers previously only seen in Deep Space Nine, on the Defiant. Additionally, this explains the Enterprise’s late launch date (she should have been launched 11 years prior, but obviously, new developments resulted in delays and re-fits), as well as why she appears to have already undergone the refit that in the original universe, she wouldn’t have until shortly before the Wrath of Khan.

Along side this, in this time-line, she’s a heavy cruiser in both name and design, rather than an exploratory vessel first and foremost. She’s heavier armoured, and designed to be more manoeuvrable. She has better main phasers, and revolver launch torpedo tubes allowing for each tube to fire 6 torpedoes, one after the other. Even the Enterprise D, with it’s forward firing torpedo bays, could only fire 2 torpedoes from each launcher in sequence before needing reloading.

So, the destruction of the Kelvin acts as the first key point in this new time-line, and results in Starfleet going for a more advanced, more technologically powerful fleet. But neither the Romulan Empire nor Klingon Empire (the two major antagonists of the time period) are doing the same. Thus, Starfleet holds technological superiority in this time-line, as opposed to simple equality.

Third on our list is Kirk himself. In this time-line, he spent time as a delinquent for much longer, rather than joining the academy when he was 18. As such, he has a much more brash and aggressive personality, as he lacks his father’s influence. This is evidenced in the Kobayashi Maru scenario, where, in the original time-line, while he did reprogram the simulator, it was to make the Klingons respect his reputation, at which point he roped them into helping him conduct the rescue. This time round, however, his more aggressive and hot headed personality resulted in him simply altering the scenario so it would allow him to kill all of the Klingon ships with 1 shot each. As such, this Kirk is more aggressive, and thus, ironically, more likely to get the reputation that his original self attempted to garner.

Fourth comes in the form of ship losses and what that means for the time-line. To start with, in the original time-line, at this particular point in history, the Romulans were forced to purchase decommissioned Klingon ships in order to supplement their own forces, where as in this timeline, the Klingons have lost 47 ships to what they think is Romulan aggression, and thus will have no inclination to sell ships to them, and may even be recommissioning those vessels themselves to use as a stopgap. This leaves the Romulan empire seriously under-powered militarily and with the fact that the elder Spock has 20 odd years of manipulating the Romulans and their politics, he may be able to use this to result in a more Federation friendly Romulan government, which also allows him to increase the available gene-base for the Vulcans to rebuild with. At the same time, even with recommissioning of old ships, the Klingons are weakened militarily. While their attitude towards this may not result in increased friendly actions from them, the fact the Romulan ship guilty of attacking their fleet and doing so much damage was destroyed by a single Starfleet Vessel, along side the fact Starfleet lost a significantly smaller fraction of it’s fleet to this attack overall, may result in a Klingon Empire more inclined towards political combat than all out warfare.

And this leads us on to politics. The Vulcans were always the Federation’s voice of reason and stability in the prime universe. In this universe, their influence is greatly reduced. As such, the Humans and Andorians have a much greater influence, and both are more aggressive species than their Vulcan counterparts, the Andorians especially. As such, the Federation is going to be more expansionist and aggressive, while, ironically, being more able to forge treaties with their former enemies.

As such, this results in a universe with a much stronger United Federation of Planets, which may even result in the whole of the Undiscovered Country’s plot-line of a peace treaty with the Klingons occurring early.

And this is all before we account for the fact that A), in San Francisco Bay is a 24th century Mining Phaser, which uses technology developed during the course of the original series to start with. And B) There’s the elder Spock, again, who’s demonstrated he has considerable scientific and technological knowledge of the future, and who therefore can ensure that the Federation has several elements of it’s 24th century tech early, as well as warn them of the approaching Borg threat, and prepare them for the existence of enemies such as the Dominion.

And to leave you all with a happy thought: The movie has a few contrived co-incidences, correct? We’re talking a setting with the Q in it, though. And we all know how our friend Q likes to bother Picard and Janeway. They can’t very well exist if Earth is destroyed, can they? As such, perhaps these co-incidences aren’t so co-incidental.

Fuck Valentine’s Day.

Written on February 15, 2009 at 3:54 am about Musing by Tom
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That is all.

Adventure on the Horizon

Written on January 11, 2009 at 3:08 am about Life, Musing by Tom
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Well, not so much ‘on the horizon’ as ‘inside my computer.’ I’ve been using my copious amounts of spare time over break to work on an adventure game engine, similar in ability to the old SCUMM games made by LucasArts. I’m developing it in Java, since that’s the language I know best and can leverage its built-in functions to save some time. It’s code-named JADE, for Java ADventure Engine. Once the engine itself is done, my friend Jack and I, along with likely Chris, will work on an actual adventure game for it, hopefully to be released here through SpartaLive, but of course we’ll see. So expect updates on the dev progress here.

In other news, I had my wisdom teeth out a few days ago, and apparently have some sort of mutant healing factor, as there’s been no pain and very little swelling — I was back to solid food in less than 24 hours. That was a plus, because Jell-O gets old quickly. (Though pudding never, ever, gets old.)

Tomorrow, if all goes according to plan, I’ll also be heading to Providence for dinner and a movie with a good friend of mine from college — fingers crossed. Seems hard to believe vacation’s almost over though; there’s only two weeks left. Well, that’s all for now I s’pose. Until next time, readers.

Thanksgiving and the Attack of the Ex-Girlfriend

Written on November 28, 2008 at 10:52 pm about General, Life by Tom
1 Comment

I left UMass Dartmouth on Tuesday night expecting a relaxing vacation with the family, interspersed by working on my latest novel and hanging out with my mates from high school. Alas, it was not so simple. While I was in the process of putting up one of the Christmas trees in my house with my mother and sister, the doorbell rings. Who is it at the door but my ex girlfriend, two years later. This was possibly the most WTF moment I can remember.

Apparently, she wants to be friends again. Or something. She gave me a note, since I wasn’t about to let her into my house out of the blue, and it does appear sincere enough. Haven’t come to a decision yet, as I’m still a tad shell-shocked, I suppose. Have to wonder what spurred the whole thing, though. The note amounts to a lengthy apology, and a bit of an update as to what she’s been up to. In any case, I can’t come to a decision just yet as to what I’m going to do. Advice from close friends is mixed.

On the plus side of things, I have a new phone. It’s orange, and the blurb claims it’s ‘built to military specifications.’ I’ve been redoing the contacts list, so I’m missing a lot of numbers — pass yours along if I don’t have it, or you just want random calls at 3AM.

That’s all for now; time to work on the webcomic before I forget I ever had such a thing.

Random Drabbles

Written on October 3, 2008 at 4:11 am about Musing by Tom
5 Comments

I don’t have enough thoughts here to merit one entire post, but I do have a few self-contained nuggets. So, direct from my cranium, here it is!

Firstly, I’ve been working on a webcomic. You can check it out on this same domain, over at http://atomiccomic.spartalive.net It’s pretty badass. Or pretty bad, depending on your definition. Without giving away upcoming story developments, it centers around a group of young college students (uni students, for the UK readers). It’s NOT a CAD gaming comic ripoff though — mine is more hard-science fiction centered, with the focus on plot, not humor.

My good friend Jack Ryder also has a webcomic of his own, at http://zarroff.spartalive.net, and it’s also quite excellent. A bit melodramatic but always amusing, it chronicles the exploits of one Baron Zarroff and his crusade against evil.

Next on the agenda, I see we have a reply from “OMGITSFREAKINEDWARDCULLEN….” I’m curious as to how she found this website — StumbleUpon? Link from a friend? Act of God? Whatever it is, you seem to have some very odd notions. Firstly, are men not allowed to judge the relative attractiveness of other men? Personally I think Brendan Frasier is pretty damn sexy, am I not allowed to think that?

Secondly, I don’t owe you a fair fight. It’s my (well, our) blog, and the onus is on you to defend your own position. As for a ‘fantastic’ comment, if you consider allcaps fantastic you’re just another reason I need to continue my plan to enslave all humans under 20. You’re already slaves to pop culture anyways; I’d prefer making you my minions. After all, with a total lack of English comprehension, you’re ripe for mind control.

Your homophobic slant in your comments makes me wonder as to your geographic location — I’m extrapolating that you’re from down south or out west, where we have such loonies as Fred Phelps wandering about. Does the thought of homosexuality bother you? Frighten you? Maybe my next post will be on that. I do find it ironic that you find a boy portrayed (at least in the movie previews) as intensely feminine to be attractive whilst decrying me as a ‘lezbo’ (which I suppose, since I like women, is technically accurate. Eddie Izzard would appreciate it.)

In short, I welcome further comments from you, as it lets me vent my spleen upon you, and generates more traffic.

In closing…fucking chip dip cans, with lids that are narrow at the top! Once you’ve eaten most of it, you get your hands coated in dip trying to get the dip at the bottom! Make them conical! Expand the radius with the height so my hands don’t get dippy! HOW HARD IS IT?

Get Smart Review

Written on September 10, 2008 at 11:00 pm about Films by Paradox
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Well first off this film has received allot of slack by people who don’t seem to realise that you’re not supposed to take this film too seriously. Once past that you might be able to form an opinion. So here is my fuck you to all those reviewers out there that have been brainwashed by spice girls albums and Kiera Knightly.

So let’s set some context:

Spoilers May Follow.

You have been warned.

Cast your mind back to 1960s spy spoof TV series ‘Get Smart’ and the most you’ll remember - if you remember anything at all, of course - is its bumbling hero Maxwell Smart (played by Don Adams) removing his shoe and using it as a phone. True to form, Adams’ big-screen replacement Steve Carell can be found at one point earnestly talking into his size 10. The film rendition also features its own special brand of amusingly implausible Q-style gadgets. But you know those things are ok in this kind of film.

In difference to the TV show it smartly goes its own way, faithful in spirit but charting a new course for Maxwell Smart and company. With Steve Carell in the lead, this Max is a likeable, reliable paper-pushing analyst for spy agency CONTROL, who dreams of one day of becoming a top agent out in the field himself. When CONTROL headquarters is attacked and nearly all the other agents identities are compromised, he gets his chance. The Chief has no choice but to bench his number one, Agent 23, in favour of Max, now Agent 86. Max teams up with Agent 99, a far more competent and experienced agent, in order to thwart the terrorist plans of KAOS, lead by Siegfried and his right-hand man Shtarker. This Get Smart is a full-out action-comedy with the emphasis on action. The actors make all the derring-do and wild on-screen antics believable and some of the gags and lines are rather amusing.

ACTING

Also to distinguish himself from Don Adams, Steve Carell has choose to take his Max in a different direction. This is no imitation at all, but a fully fleshed out bumbling guy with dreams of his own. Carell is very funny trying to deal with gadgets, using code language, getting his signals mixed up and trying to be a decent partner for the much smarter 99. Hathaway makes this 99 a bright woman who is obviously light years ahead of all her male colleagues. Both stars skilfully handle the considerable physical humour required here. Dwayne Johnson continues to show his comic timing as the superstar agent who is grounded against his will. Stamp and Borat’s sidekick Davitian are amusing characters but stuck with rather one-dimensional, over-the-top villain roles. Arkin is perfectly cast as the beleaguered Chief, while James Caan as the U.S. President has little to do but does it well, and of course Bill Murray’s well placed cameo in a tree, sitting, crying, where he belongs.

To be fair, the film is slightly more concerned with action than it is with comedy, which means that the gag rate isn’t quite as high as it should have been. But I can forgive the film for that as the action is competent and parts of the film stand out as being good.

Get Smart is an entertaining comedy thriller that should please fans and newcomers alike.

(P.S. Fuck You reviewers that I read. I won’t name you for legal reasons but you know who you are)

Like a phoenix, I rise again. And again. And again. And a … holy crap, I’m on FIRE!!! AHHHHHH!

Written on September 7, 2008 at 9:07 pm about General, Life, Musing, Pen and Paper Role Playing by Chris
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Well, after Tom’s cheerful rant below, I figured it was time to share an update of my own.

Well, it’s notable that the Salford WARPS should be reasonably secure for this year. Hopefully the student union takes it’s thumb out of it’s ass and actually gets some advertising up. After a while of negociation and checking, it appears we require 15 student members to be ratified as an official society. Since we have 10 with just the guaranteed re-sign ups from last year, that’s not too difficult an issue, since the union appears to have woken up to the idea that they need to actually make sure the societies have ROOM to work in.

In addition, Phoenix, my DnD4th ed modification, continues at a steady pace. It’ll be ready for testing come the new university year, anyway. Barring any exceptional circumstances, I should be ready to work on a 2nd stage book set (The Titans Manual, Campaign Guide and Academy Training book) after this first test (Which is the UNMC player’s handbook, the vehicle manual (New and unique), the field inteligence guide (Monster Manual equivalent) and the GM’s manual). I’m also working on several stories in the setting, which should be interesting.  At the time of writing, I also have an initial scenario written up to 4th level, and plans for beyond that point in note form.

Unlike DnD, Phoenix is intended for an episodic campaign, dropping in at the key points in the character’s lifetime, as opposed to a continual campaign. This means GMs can limit what equipment the players get, as well as ensure that even if the campaign is going to cover several years, players don’t spend lots of time sat around twiddling their thumbs.

Anyway, in other areas, I’m generally doing ok. Probably re-sitting the year at university, but that’s not really a big supprise, and to be frank, I’d actually prefer it in some ways. Obviously not the cost, but most ways, I’m fine with it.

Oh, and in a final bit of news, Manchester has officially recieved 1 year’s worth of rain in a month, as of now.

Fuck my life.

Written on September 7, 2008 at 4:59 am about Life by Tom
3 Comments

The title of this post seems to be my motto nowadays. As much as I hate to admit this, even online, I think I’m fighting the big D. There’s no logical reason for it — things are going better than ever for me to anyone looking in from the outside. I’m back at school, my classes are all good — fuck, my family’s even putting a nice addition on the house. I have squat to bitch about compared to plenty of other people.

And yet…and yet, I’m not happy.  I feel lonelier than ever, in fact. As much as I deride people who act ‘emo,’ I find myself slipping into a funk. And it’s all centered around one thing — my utter failure to find that perfect girl. Yeah, I know, people who measure their happiness by having a girlfriend are losers. Well fuck you, whoever said that, cause this isn’t about status or peer pressure or society. This is human loneliness, plain and simple. Hell, the only reason I can even write this here is because no one reads this blog; it might as well be a journal.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, I meet the perfect kind of girl that I’ve been holding out for for literally years, and still I strike out. And this shouldn’t bother me because I have 18 years of striking out under my belt. I should be a pro at letting go and moving on. But I can’t. I’ve slowly over time lost that ability to go “Oh well, plenty others out there.” Because guess what? There aren’t.

Oh, sure, there’s a lot of females out there, but that’s just statistics. What I mean is similar personalities. Common souls, if you want to get philisophical about it. There’s next to zero people out there like me, it seems, or at least not here in New England. You know what a big stumbling block is? Smart girls. Yep, call me sexist, but I have a real hell of a time finding a girl I can actually talk to about geeky things I find interesting. I’m telling you, they don’t freaking exist.

Part of it might be normal hormones and shit, freaking out and telling me I’ve gotta pass on the ol’ genes, but part of it’s just the fact that, aside from a couple of friendly hugs here and there, I don’t get any kind of real physical intimacy with anybody. And I don’t mean intimacy in the adult sense, either. I’m talking basic human contact here. I might as well be in a biohazard suit. It sounds stupid even to type it, but…I just want to be held. I want someone to hold hands with and hug and caress. And it’s just getting harder to go on without that.

If this makes me some kind of unmasculine girly-man, so be it. If you’re going to accuse me of being hypocritical and emo, go ahead and get it out of your system. All I can say is that I can’t keep living like this. I’ll go crazy. It’s really only a matter of time. The hair-trigger temper that I’ve managed to subdue for so many years is resurging again. The propensity to get pissed off at the drop of a hat, the sudden loss of all reason and desire to just break something or someone, the barely held back crying jag…It’s all stuff no one ever sees, I think, because I’ve grown very good at hiding it over the years.

As I said earlier, I don’t like admitting that I’m an unhappy person. I used to think that denying it would keep it from getting worse, and keep me from wallowing in unhappiness. Now I hope that acknowledging it will help me fight it off. Because I can’t deny it any more. Normal people don’t wake up and immediately try to fall back asleep, because they prefer the dream they were having to reality. Normal people don’t wonder if it’d be better to get hit by a bus crossing the street. Normal people don’t sit in their car, alone, and scream, because if they don’t they’d explode from all the repressed anger and sadness and tears. I’ve crossed that line, the point of no return, where I have to admit that something is seriously wrong here.

I don’t want to seem melodramatic. I’m not doing this to look for sympathy — if I was, I wouldn’t be posting this to an unread blog. This is meant to be more catharsis for me. It’s a free shrink, a stranger to listen to my problems, where I don’t have to worry about them being a part of them. It’s an electronic Freud, putting me on the couch. I don’t want your “it’ll get better” and “You’re a great guy, just be patient” and “Someday you’ll find the right person.” I just need to get this off my chest, before I haul off and start smashing up my car with a tire iron or something.

And that’s the thing, that maybe I want to break stuff and hit things, because at least then you’d notice me. At least then you’d see that I’m here. You’d know I exist, I could prove it. I broke that window, see! I’m here, I’ve always been here. That’s what it seems to come down to. That’s why I’m ‘that guy’ in class, the one with the bad jokes and the snarky comments. Because any attention is better than no attention. Because maybe if I’m clever enough you’ll love me. Because maybe if I make you laugh you’ll see I’m better than the rest of those guys.

That’ll never happen though, because it seems to me, and some of my mates as well, that as much as women complain about chivalry being dead, us nice guys still finish last. As much as you tell us you’re looking for a sweet, sensitive, intelligent guy, you keep on going for the football captain and prom king. As much as you complain about the latest jerk move your boyfriend pulled, you never see us as anything outside the friend zone.

Anyways, I really hope this funk of mine ends sooner rather than later, or at the very least I can stay busy enough to stay ahead of it.

So, while Tom and James work on ripping off Yhatzee….

Written on August 22, 2008 at 3:00 am about Life, Pen and Paper Role Playing, Tabletop Wargames by Chris
1 Comment

I’ve been doing other crap.

First off, I’ve been helping organize the Salford WARPS for the new year. Since, unlike last year, the event’s officer isn’t 100% on the ball, (the events officer for the student union last year is it’s President this year) my job is distinctly more difficult that I would like. Between our domain expiring and trying to get sorted for the fresher’s fair, I’d rather shoot myself than continue to deal with it, in some ways. Or the union…. you know, that’s not such a bad plan. I wonder how much the severed head of a union exec goes for on ebay.

Second off, it appears that my sanity has slowly danced away with the penguins. Amongst others. So I’m actually beginning to be able to put an ending to 1 of my role playing games I’m running, which had (with player character help occasionally) wandered so far off the beaten track that it’s punched through a small city on it’s way to the goal. And then around the goal in an ever tightening spiral. Hopefully they’ll realize what the end aim of the story was sometime before next session, and I can then get it done with.

And third, I’ve been working on far too many game designs. This may be the cause of the second point, in fact, but I’ve designed an entire tabletop war game or 2 over the past month, begun writing a 4th ed DnD supplement, which I’ll share samples of over time, and also written up a campaign for said supplement.

So expect a few more random posts out of me as my sanity drains. Now, go away, I’m trying to invade Russia in peace.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Written on August 20, 2008 at 8:29 pm about Films, Musing by Paradox
1 Comment

My opening statement is that this is a mediocre movie, but an absolutely atrocious sequel.

Spoilers may follow. But don’t worry if you see this movie your eyes will fall out and burry themselves in your ass so read it here and save your eyes.

Perhaps the first clue that this movie was destined for the dumpster should have been Rachel Weisz deciding not to reprise her role as Evey over issues with the script. She had to be replaced by Maria Bello and my god whoever decided that was obviously snorting something brown and five hundered years old.

Here is an example of how crazy this gets:

Brendan Fraser rides a horse made out of rock and molten lava through a Chinese City during Chinese New Year, while Jet Li peels off his face and throws it at his would-be attackers.

I know what you’re thinking: “Is the director smoking crack?”

Well, yes I think he was.

The plot focuses on Jet Li’s mummified Immortal Chinese Emperor who is accidentally awoken, and it’s up to our heroes to stop him before he manages to raise his invincible terracotta army…

But wait he’s not immortal until he gets to a spa in the Himalayas which looks like the place from the second film with a golden statue of Buddha, there is two guardians who are 3000 years old and immortal for no apparent reason. And his invincible army is not so invincible until after it crosses the Great Wall of China and is actually as tough as a china vase…

I can’t go on, THIS SHIT IS BANNANAS!

Is it just me or is the same drivel we’ve seen many many times in the bargain bin at blockbusters?

Fraser is his normal, perfectly affable self, here supposedly “older”, though the poor make-up can’t conceal his youthful features and Bello does a more than decent job filling in for Weisz, in the same way a polar bears fills in for a zebra. Maria Bello is to Rachel Weisz as I am to Muhammad Ali.

Hannah here is fairly wasted, used only to snipe from the sidelines and offer incredibly inane one-liners (I did feel at one point that if everyone would shut up for five seconds, instead of commentating on absolutely everything, or offering up glib quips, that the fighting might go just that tad bit easier). Speaking of which, Jet Li is also fairly underused, with the final face-off between his Mummy Emperor and Rick O’Connell feeling more than a little underwhelming.

Let’s now tackle Luke Ford, to the ground, and beat him.

The son of Rick and Evey Mk II. I don’t know whether to blame the script or him but either way the whole subplot of “healing the father-son relationship” hurts me like fire, it’s painful.

As for Chinese history and culture … well, I know the Mummy doesn’t follow historical accuracy but at least the last two where based on fact. This film is very hanging off the bones.

Just to re-iterate this quote: “Rachel Weisz announced that she will not be reprising her role of Evelyn due to different interests with the screenplay.” Yes, I can see her point. She got off the sinking ship.

So at this point the director wants to spice things up, so add an element of danger that will keep you on the verge of consciousness, Li’s Emperor has the ability to control all the elements, and turn into anything he likes, this part is very much like Reign of Fire meets Lord Of The Rings.

Did I mention there are Yetis in this film?

Yup, Yetis turn up and fight on the side of good against Li’s evil minions, adding barely any weight to the CGI-Heavy, soulless mess that the film has turned out to be.

This film ups the ante in terms of special effects and action, but there’s an undeniably tired air. The action isn’t used to advance the story but to delay it. Tomb of the Dragon Emperor tells a tiny story. The heroes go one place.

Then they go to another place.

Then they meet up with the bad guy.

There’s a showdown.

Frankly this story could have been told in 45 minutes; Instead, Tomb stretches this little bonbon of a plot into 112 minutes.

Coming off far worse is a newly brunet Bello, who appears distinctly uncomfortable in the action sequences and who sports an unfortunate British accent to boot.

I really don’t feel I can destroy this film any further and so I shall end by saying I feel this film would be improved by saying its called The Mummy 3: Curse of the Emperor Penguin.